February 3, 2009

there go my good feelings about candy

I chose not to run this morning because my darling Hubbs ordered me a workout DVD from Netflix. It was a burlesque style video and I thought it'd be fun, a little sensual, and I'd learn something new.

How. Wrong. I. Was.

It was like cheap porn meets bad phone sex! I finally had to turn it off when she was teaching a move called "The Candy Shoppe" which consisted of coming down into a squat, pushing your rear end out, and bringing it back up slowly. Not a bad move, but when she said, "Goddesses, this is your candy shop, and you've got sweet things to serve up," I knew I was done.

Her sleazy innuendos and commentary made it feel like I was being seduced (badly) through my television. "I call this move the Too Hot. I'll explain why in a minute...well, if I have to." I'm far from being a prude but this was just terrible. I'll get back to my treadmill tomorrow, and in the meantime, I might stay away from strip-tease workouts. 50s Gal and I have been chatting back and forth about exercising and she's found some vintage videos on YouTube. Hopefully she's having better luck than I am!


  1. Well, I can assure that Jack Lalanne has never mentioned or talked about my 'candy shoppe'! I am still doing my workout. I actually find it rather calming as it is not too jaring, and u use chairs and things you have around the house. I am also sticking with my black coffee/tea and dry toast breakfast, although this morning I had a half broiled grapefruit and oatmeal, which is what I served hubby, but when it is bacon eggs and pancakes like yesterday it is toast and coffee for me. I have actully really come to love coffee. I always thought I liked it before, but now that I can taste it without all the cream and sugar and such, I really like it! Tea, as well. Keep up the good work and I say, phewy. I cannot abide 'fake' sexuality. I still think more clothes and less inuendo is much sexier than shaking my sequined 'candy shoppe' in anyones face! But, I am a 1950's housewife, right?

  2. I too have been doing the toast and tea breakfast. I'm surprised at how much I'm liking it! I've even started collecting all manner of flavored teas so I don't get bored with the same thing. I used to do coffee, but we don't get along anymore. I get a very bad headache and very shaky. And as far as the workout goes, I don't need my workout to be sexy to get me looking hot!

  3. I can sure understand you not wanting to workout with that DVD!! Hopefully you will find something that suits you better! :)

  4. Christ's sake...
    This is the lamest thing I've seen in a while.

    "They" will try to make a buck off anything they can, especially if it's considered trendy at the moment.

    I've passed that on to my burlesque pals, I'm interested in seeing what they think about this "workout" DVD.

  5. Thank you Miss Tayva! You let me know what they say!

    Aside: I suppose I thought burlesque was going to be like belly dancing (which I've seen actual workouts for, and they are usually not sexually gratuitous).


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